Snowboarding weekend

Two weekends ago I went to the Rugby Club's skiing/snowboarding weekend to a place called Melchsee-Frutt very close to Luzern. Petra and I got a lift with our friends Christa and Winu and I think it only took like 45 minutes drive to get to the mountain!! :-)

The weather when we arrived was grey and cold. I've been really spoilt with fantastic weather on the very few occasions which I have gone snowboarding. So for once I got to experience probably more normal conditions!!

I actually wasn't too keen on hopping on my board to be honest. Probably cos of the weather and my nerves. But then I just need to push myself a little and I'll be fine. I'm just a slow starter is all :-) I had all the rugby people around me who have so much experience on the slopes...and then there was me! Petra boarded with me...she's so cool and patient when it comes to snowboarding with me :-) My first run I took a few stacks but was fine. There was one fall however where it was really bad and I had to regain my breath lying sprawled on the snow. That one really hurt!!!

After that, Petra and I stopped at a bar and spent over an hour there :-) I had some coffee schnapps thing and also tried to eat this soup. I wasn't that hungry but the food smelt so good!! I however felt sick when I started eating the soup...it wasn't that the food was bad...I think it was a mixture of the coffee schnapps with the bad fall that I had which made me feel like throwing up everytime I took a spoonful of the soup!!! But I eventually finished it with Petra's help!! :-)

Then we carried on with snowboarding. We went down a run shared with sledgers (where you sit on a sledge and slide down the mountain). At first it was alright. I made a big stack early on and remember just lying sprawled on the snow again totally disoriented!! Slowly I made my way to where Petra was.

Then things started to go bad for me...The snow on the run was compact and each time I fell, I was quite determined to get back on my feet straight away and to keep going. But after falling so many times and on the same bloody spot on my butt, I got really really frustrated and gave in. Cos it really started to hurt after a while!!! I was so angry and annoyed with myself. I lost my confidence and just said...fuck it! I can't do this anymore! And just walked down the mountain (it was a long way)!!! Petra asked me to try and sit on my snowboard to slide down the mountain. I did try for a short while, but I couldn't even get that right!!! My mind had already given up!!! I was such a grumpy bum!!!

I was really glad when we got back to our little hut. We stayed overnight and it was great fun. I don't think anyone really had a late night as we were all quite buggered! We ate this traditional Swiss meal which was macaroni with cheese and apple sauce!!! It's really weird seeing it...but actually it goes really well together!!! Then later we played some games and had a good laugh at those that were drunk and attempting to think at the same time :-) I though, was not drunk :-)

One of the guys lost a bet or something and had to go outside in the snow and slide down the slope naked!!! hahahah...that was great entertainment for the rest of us!!! hahah...

On the Sunday I was energised again after a good night's rest and wanted to hit the slopes, forgetting about the bad afternoon I had the day before!!! I tackled another black run...though actually it was only black cos there was one really steep part which was also quite icy! I think I managed that by sliding down on my ass! hahaha...After we finished that run, we stopped at this hut...and actually I had no idea that that was the same hut we had been hanging out at!! I was just really disoriented!!! haha...

I felt so good with that run that we did the same again. The weather on the Sunday was quite miserable...windy and really really grey!!! But that didn't bother me! I was so happy that I hopped on the ski-lift, actually forgetting to undo my foot from my snowboard!! hahha...It wasn't until I got on with Petra and Christa, and they mentioned it to me! hahaha....So I undid it when I was riding on the ski-lift! hahaha....

The second time round, I actually sorta fell off the side of the mountain! It was a little scary, but I didn't fall that far and was back on track in no time! When we eventually made it back to the hut, there was a snowstorm happening at the top of the mountain and all ski lifts were temporarily suspended. It was a bit crazy watching the weather and I was glad I wasn't outside!!!

Overall I had a great weekend, but I'll try never to give up so easily again with my snowboarding!! :-)

Some kind of Magic...

A new light
illuminates my path.

I can feel
my skin start to shed
I can feel
myself breaking free.

The veil has been lifted.
The hurt, the pain, the tears
of yesterday
have been released.

It's like I am soaring.
It's like...some kind of magic.

Fasnacht

Ever been to a costume party? Remember how you would literally run from your front door to your car hoping that nobody would see you? Then you'd be safe in your car until you had to make your way from your car to the party scene?!

Well, I love costume parties! :-) And for one week every year, Luzerners throw the biggest costume party...perhaps in the world. Though I cannot vouch for that. The week before Lent begins, Luzern is turned upside-down. The usually clean streets, serious-looking faces of the locals, well-mannered, quiet Swiss...are magically transformed overnight...but only for one week! And on Ash Wednesday everything magically goes back to normal...clean streets and the Swiss back to their normal 'boring' selves (so I've heard!). It's a bit like the coach from Cinderalla turning back into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight!!! And then nine months later, there's a boom in the population!!!

In my older age, I tend to dislike crowds and drunk people more and more. So for me, I would prefer to be a party-pooper and stay away from this party atmosphere! My flatmate asked me tonight if I wanted to head into town. Of course my answer was 'No thanks.' But I was out during the daytime, and that counts for something at least :-)

I was the minority today as I walked amongst the crowd. I took a half-day off work to watch the parade in town. On the train-ride to Luzern, it was just packed with people all in costume for the big party! It was great seeing all the Swiss dressed up and happy :-) You can't help but smile when you see all these costumes! :-) Very colourful and some very creative :-)

I reckon maybe 85% of the people in town today were dressed up. I really felt left out. I should have perhaps donned a witches hat or something, or maybe put on my Wallabies jersey with my Wallabies beanie! hehe... I went in to see the parade, but as I am a shorty I couldn't really see much so I took a walk around instead. There was so much happening all over the place. Lots of 'guggamusik'...which is like carnival music...lots of brass bands playing. It was just awesome!! It really lifts your spirits and you walk around with a huge smile on your face :-) The weather was also great today, which topped it off :-)

As it was daytime, there were lots of kids around and they looked soooooooo cute all dressed up!!! Well the parade went on for about 2.5hrs I believe. I'm actually glad that I didn't stand around for that long, but instead walked around and bopped along to the music around the town. One band even played Green Day's 'Paranoid' which was absolutely awesome! And another played 'Mamma Mia' :-)

I took a few pictures and for the first time am putting up pics with my posting!! Oh, and all the people in the pics are total strangers! I really admire the Swiss for not giving a rat's arse and dressing up and walking around in their costumes in public :-) I guess everybody else does it!! :-) So why not?! :-)

Take Flight

23rd June 2006

Take flight.
Find the edge
and take a step into the unknown.
Upon the wings of love
you will be lifted
and you shall not fail.

Take flight.
Find your feet
and they will guide you.
Each step of the way
an angel will walk beside you
and you shall not falter.

Take flight.
Spread your wings
and you will soar.

Someone Like You

6th October 2005

Someone like you
Makes me laugh
Makes me cry.

In the moment I think of you,
A smile breaks across my face
And no-one knows my joy.

In the moment I think of you,
My heart just aches
And no-one knows my pain.

Joy cannot exist without pain
That is the tragedy
That is the triumph.

I Wish

26th May 2005

I wish you were here
So we can watch the sunset
So we can climb a mountain
So that we can just be together

But many oceans separate us
And I am here and you are there
And I don't know when I will see you again

Life is strange
Or maybe it's the human race that is strange
Or maybe it's just you and me

I wish I could have told you
What has been on my mind and in my heart
For so long now
And sometimes I wish we would have done things differently

But living in the past is no way to go
So we learn from our mistakes and our fears
And we look ahead to a brighter future
Possibly together, possibly not

Wherever our paths may lead
Whatever roads we choose to take
Know that I will never be too far away

Releasing thoughts...(on relationships)

I came upon this email I wrote in November 2005 to my friends, on relationships. It's kinda fitting now as just this weekend passed, I was told about three relationship break-ups...

"When you're in a relationship, and things are falling apart, you wonder at what point this started to happen? Surely it wasn't always like this. It's kinda strange right now...but I guess maybe it's always happening this way...I know of three weddings this month, and I also know of three relationships which are on the rocks this month. Is it something about this time of the year or maybe this is something that happends all the time, 365 days in the year?

At what point do you stop loving someone? Or at what point does one realize that the constant fighting is doing neither party any good? At what point do you stop and think to yourself, am I happy in this relationship? At what point did communication break down? When all is said and done, is there anything more to say and do? Or do we just look at each other like we are strangers and have nothing to say anymore?

It’s all so confusing. The constant battles with each other, with ourselves. The constant questioning of self-worth, of trust, of time wasted, of love – was it for real? The feeling of numbness, to our thoughts, to ourselves, to the world around us, drowned out with some alcohol or the confines of our own emotions.

Will it be the end of something that was just never meant to be? Or will it be the start of something greater and grander than before? I guess in a lot of ways, when relationships break down, it is our ego which is bruised the most. The reality is that we have loved and we have embraced the best qualities of the other person. The illusion is the perceptions which we have of them, how we expect them to be, and so our egos clash and that’s when it kinda turns bad.

Sometimes I think we expect too much…of ourselves, of the other person, of how we are meant to feel or act, of how we think we should be. Sometimes we just have to throw expectations out the window and just live and just love and just accept people for who they are. Sometimes we just have to take risks. Sometime we have to take life by its balls and squeeze everything we can out of it, because if we don’t then our lives can become meaningless.

I heard this quote once which said “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.” So what’s fear then? I think that fear is never knowing what you want in life. I think fear is not daring to go beyond your own boundaries, your comfort zone. I think fear is not having the guts to take control of your own life and steer it in the direction that you want. When it comes to the crunch, really it’s all a matter of personal choice. We have all feared something in our lives, and I’m sure we still do, and still will till our dying day. But this fear needn’t be so lonely. There is no need to feel like we are in a black hole. If we surround ourselves with our family, our friends, the people that truly love and care about us, we can be assured that they will never let us fall. The constant love and support which you get from these people is truly divine.

I believe in unconditional love. I believe that love should be enough. But in this lifetime, I have questioned my beliefs time and again, and I am still learning."

It's been almost 15 months since I wrote what I did above. I still believe in unconditional love. I don't know anymore if I believe that love should be enough. I would really like to believe it again.

Grass is Greener...

In the 21 months that I have been here, most people I have met are in awe when I tell them I am from Sydney. Their faces just light up and they have a huge smile on their faces. Many look at me incredulously when I say that I actually live here. Some think I am a student, some think I am travelling. For them, they cannot believe that I left such a beautiful place to come and live here!

They always ask me why and I always have the same answer ready. I say - it's just different :-) And I tell them that their country is beautiful also. But it puts a huge smile on my face when they tell me how much they love Sydney or how much they love Australia, or how much they would love to go there :-) It makes me very proud to be an Australian :-)

Before I came here, when I told my family and friends that I was moving to Switzerland, they were equally in awe as I was!!! They said "Switzerland?? Oh wow!!!". I think the majority of us Aussies have this stereotypical image of Switzerland in our heads - snow-capped mountains, skiing, snowboarding, cheese and chocolate :-) And perhaps a bit of yodelling as well ;-p

The first few days I was here I was gob-smacked by the beauty which surrounded me. I could not believe that I was in such a place! It was like a fairytale! But most days now I fail to really notice the beauty...unless I'm up on a mountain somewhere and can take the time to stop and look around. It's kinda sad.

It's funny how the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. It's funny how friends and family tell me that I must be having the best time over here, because that's what it looks like from my photos, and from what I write in emails. But then, who ever takes photos of people when they're sad or lonely?! Who wants to hear about another day passed-by with just waking up, going to work, coming home, making something to eat, watching tv, going to bed?!! haha...:-)

It's a bit scary when I think about how long I have been here! Almost two years now!!! Though I have been back to Sydney on three occasions in that time :-) My niece Ashleigh can walk and talk now. She was only three months old when I left :-) I found a picture of her in my wallet the other day (I use the term 'wallet' cos 'purse' is too girly! hehe..) when she was one week old...and it made me smile :-)

I never thought the grass would be greener on this side of the world :-) It was not the reason I came :-) I needed a new challenge and just something...different :-) And that I certainly got! :-) They say that home is where the heart is. My heart definitely belongs to Sydney. Always has, always will :-)