I sit here honest and open.
In the past few weeks I have been in a bit of a career dilemma. I called a recruitment agency to enquire about a job which I had seen online. Reading the job advert I was able to tick the boxes next to pretty much all of them...and it was only a 10-month contract.
I spoke with the young woman and told her that I had intended to commence studying in February full-time, but that the job looked interesting to me. When she saw my resume she called me back and said that I was the "perfect candidate for the job". She asked me how likely it would be that my Master degree application would be accepted. She sounded very keen to forward my resume to her client, and it made me feel very good about myself...ergo...a personal trap!!!
Let's rewind a little bit though...
When I left Switzerland, my plan was to come back here and attain a Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA). This involves a 1-month intensive course and by the end of it I would be qualified to teach English to adults. This I had my heart set on. I even had a plan on how I would pay for it...I had it all mapped out...
But then some funds never arrived which I was expecting and so started a chain reaction of events...of reasons why not to fulfill my calling...and it goes like this...
Ohh...the funds never cleared so I can't do the CELTA...but I want to study something...so I'll pick something which I don't have to pay upfront. How about a DipEd? That's something I've always wanted to do...Oh bugger! The institutions I want to study at don't offer a DipEd to teach young kids...OK...how about a Master of Teaching (Primary) degree...that sounds alright...2 years study...hmmm...it's something at least...but 2 years...that's a bloody long time...how will I support myself?? Okay...I'll apply for it anyway...hmm....I should earn some money before uni starts...I'll do some casual admin work...Oh! this job sounds really interesting...working for some "world renowned independent media organisation"...the job description sounds like what I used to do...but hang on, it's a long term contract..."You're the perfect candidate for this job" says the lady...Damn it! I am good aren't I?? And damn it...I do love my numbers don't I?!...So why exactly have I chosen to do a Masters degree?? Am I doing it for the right reasons??...Damn it! The lure of money for 10 months and doing something which I know I can already do...
I had already decided yesterday that I would be happy for the recruitment agency to forward my resume to her client. I told her so.
I chatted to SS last night telling her my dilemma. By the end of our conversation, she had saved me!!! :-)
Things have been very muddy infront of my eyes lately and SS really helped me to see things clearly. She said...you are worth so much more than $2600 (the cost of the CELTA)!!! So don't let this little hurdle stop you. You already know in your heart what you want to do. The easy option is to take the 10 month job because you know you can succeed at it, and then at the end of 10 months they'll probably offer you another 6 months, which you won't be able to say No to....and then we'll be having this same conversation 1 year down the track!!! And then you'll be 10 months behind on what you really want to do!!! And you'll keep putting it off!
It's so true! I realised how much I almost let one little thing change the course of my life!!! Here I was for the longest time, telling myself, telling everybody that I'm going to teach english...and so had my sights set on it...then I almost let myself take 10 steps backwards!!! Because of a small financial hurdle!!!
SS said...ask for help...create that possibility! And I said...yes, I know I am very bad at asking for help! And she said...yes you are! And you're the one who always helps everyone else!!!
For me, I felt like studying for a Master of Teaching was my best option because I wasn't able to afford the course which I really wanted to do. SS said...Masters degrees are bloody expensive and one way or another you're gonna have to pay for it whether it be now or later!!! She said...don't accept what is second best...take a stand for yourself! Even in the areas of relationship you accept second best...
And in that moment, I realised how true it was...that some things in my life I had taken the second best option...that I had caved in so easily to being agreeable with the people around me that my true needs were not met...and so down the track uneasiness and unhappiness creeps in.
My brother asked me this morning whether I had heard anything from the university or if I had heard anything about a job. I told him...Nope! Not going to do any of that!!! I'm going to do the CELTA!!! And I told him about my phone conversation with SS...and my realisation about what I had almost done...and he was with me...he understood.
And so, here I am honest and open. I am committed to completing the CELTA within the next 3 months because I am choosing what is best for myself :-) I am finally feeding and nourishing my soul, which has been starved for the longest time...
In the past few weeks I have been in a bit of a career dilemma. I called a recruitment agency to enquire about a job which I had seen online. Reading the job advert I was able to tick the boxes next to pretty much all of them...and it was only a 10-month contract.
I spoke with the young woman and told her that I had intended to commence studying in February full-time, but that the job looked interesting to me. When she saw my resume she called me back and said that I was the "perfect candidate for the job". She asked me how likely it would be that my Master degree application would be accepted. She sounded very keen to forward my resume to her client, and it made me feel very good about myself...ergo...a personal trap!!!
Let's rewind a little bit though...
When I left Switzerland, my plan was to come back here and attain a Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA). This involves a 1-month intensive course and by the end of it I would be qualified to teach English to adults. This I had my heart set on. I even had a plan on how I would pay for it...I had it all mapped out...
But then some funds never arrived which I was expecting and so started a chain reaction of events...of reasons why not to fulfill my calling...and it goes like this...
Ohh...the funds never cleared so I can't do the CELTA...but I want to study something...so I'll pick something which I don't have to pay upfront. How about a DipEd? That's something I've always wanted to do...Oh bugger! The institutions I want to study at don't offer a DipEd to teach young kids...OK...how about a Master of Teaching (Primary) degree...that sounds alright...2 years study...hmmm...it's something at least...but 2 years...that's a bloody long time...how will I support myself?? Okay...I'll apply for it anyway...hmm....I should earn some money before uni starts...I'll do some casual admin work...Oh! this job sounds really interesting...working for some "world renowned independent media organisation"...the job description sounds like what I used to do...but hang on, it's a long term contract..."You're the perfect candidate for this job" says the lady...Damn it! I am good aren't I?? And damn it...I do love my numbers don't I?!...So why exactly have I chosen to do a Masters degree?? Am I doing it for the right reasons??...Damn it! The lure of money for 10 months and doing something which I know I can already do...
I had already decided yesterday that I would be happy for the recruitment agency to forward my resume to her client. I told her so.
I chatted to SS last night telling her my dilemma. By the end of our conversation, she had saved me!!! :-)
Things have been very muddy infront of my eyes lately and SS really helped me to see things clearly. She said...you are worth so much more than $2600 (the cost of the CELTA)!!! So don't let this little hurdle stop you. You already know in your heart what you want to do. The easy option is to take the 10 month job because you know you can succeed at it, and then at the end of 10 months they'll probably offer you another 6 months, which you won't be able to say No to....and then we'll be having this same conversation 1 year down the track!!! And then you'll be 10 months behind on what you really want to do!!! And you'll keep putting it off!
It's so true! I realised how much I almost let one little thing change the course of my life!!! Here I was for the longest time, telling myself, telling everybody that I'm going to teach english...and so had my sights set on it...then I almost let myself take 10 steps backwards!!! Because of a small financial hurdle!!!
SS said...ask for help...create that possibility! And I said...yes, I know I am very bad at asking for help! And she said...yes you are! And you're the one who always helps everyone else!!!
For me, I felt like studying for a Master of Teaching was my best option because I wasn't able to afford the course which I really wanted to do. SS said...Masters degrees are bloody expensive and one way or another you're gonna have to pay for it whether it be now or later!!! She said...don't accept what is second best...take a stand for yourself! Even in the areas of relationship you accept second best...
And in that moment, I realised how true it was...that some things in my life I had taken the second best option...that I had caved in so easily to being agreeable with the people around me that my true needs were not met...and so down the track uneasiness and unhappiness creeps in.
My brother asked me this morning whether I had heard anything from the university or if I had heard anything about a job. I told him...Nope! Not going to do any of that!!! I'm going to do the CELTA!!! And I told him about my phone conversation with SS...and my realisation about what I had almost done...and he was with me...he understood.
And so, here I am honest and open. I am committed to completing the CELTA within the next 3 months because I am choosing what is best for myself :-) I am finally feeding and nourishing my soul, which has been starved for the longest time...
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